Thoughts for the end of January

Today I finally took down the Christmas tree and the rest of the decorations. It was one of those thoughts that didn't quite work the way I thought it would.  Since Katie did not come home for Christmas I had thought I would leave everything up as she would be here for the wedding. I just never planned on the sciatica problem which has led to me just getting the stuff down. I still can't carry it to the storage so Ben will have to come to my aid. If it hit February I would have had to decorated it for valentines day. 

Things seem to be sliding back to their usual routine. Work each day, laundry, cleaning, etc. now is when I hanker to begin planning vacations. It is a bit of a quandary as Katie has now become a partner in a law firm in California so I imagine she will be busy with her responsibilities and unable to get away for awhile. Amy just returned from her honeymoon and returned to work. Ben is just finishing massage therapy and job hunting.  So I assume I will be taking my vacation by myself or holding off until later in the year. I guess its just nice to dream of sunny beaches and balmy breezes when reality is scraping frosty windows in the freezing cold. I am just glad I was not born in North Dakota. UGH!!

Winter weather

I just read my neice Alysas blog about the Boston weather. I had just finished giving Ben the send off as he went out for the night: Be careful! Its started snowing. To which he informed me that he is just driving to the speed line to catch a train over to the city. As he left wearing a sweatshirt....

I guess someday when he sends his child out into the snow he will know how I felt at this moment.

After reading Alysa's blog I somehow feel better that at least our forecast is not as bad and he really won't be driving that far. Now I get to worry about her. Does life as a parent never end? I say that with a smile as it has been the favorite part  of my life :)

I find myself thinking of blue skies and balmy breezes, wishing that I had the cash for a nice southern vacation. At least Amy and Craig are on the beach in Jamaica enjoying it.  I guess if we didn't have winter we wouldn't appreciate the warm days as much or is that just a way to justify our existence in the northeast? Something to ponder as the snow collects on the railings of the porch and silence reigns outside.

Growing up

I think we are given children for many, many reasons. They bring great joy to life and remind us of our own youth. 

I was thinking about Ben.  He is 22 now and thinking about going out on his own. About to graduate from massage therapy and begin in the working world.  This is when you contemplate how well you did as a parent. Did I teach him the things he needs to know? I guess time will answer that question. I wish him the excitement of living on his own and the wisdom to deal with new situations and decisions.  

As he makes new friends and acquaintances I hope they recognize the special man that he is. My little boy, grown up.  His heart is big and may he never lose the compassion that lurks within it. I will always be proud to call him my son.

I wrote about moving Katie and after reviewing it I thought I should explain that it was not a letter of complaint, rather a review of how things never seem to go smoothly for my oldest.  No matter how much planning takes place or how prepared things seem,  Murphy's law abounds.  In life there are people who always appear to have everything they want and whatever they desire seems to fall in place for them.  I may have passed along a bad luck gene. Perhaps the stars are not aligned. I guess everyone feels this happens to them sometimes. It just happens to her 95% of the time. I try to figure out the why of it and have not been enlightened as yet.  

I do know that she possesses a wealth of courage and gumption. She strives for her dreams. No matter what happens and how bad the situation may seem she picks herself up and moves on. I think there is a lesson in that for us.  Life rarely goes the way we envision it. It twists and turns, bringing us joy and at times despair. I have learned through watching her to never give up but forge on ahead. Life is an adventure if we let it be.

Katie on the Move

Can I count how many times I have helped my Katie move? Probably not.  I know it is more than I can count on both hands. I always wonder if it is something in her genes? Or, is it because we moved so much when she was young?  I don't know if there is an answer to that question. 

Last weekend as the wedding took place, we also were packing up Katie's stuff. I must say I was not much of a help, other than emotional support. Aaron, Ben and Katie packed and moved boxes to the storage area. Then Denise pitched in to help at that point.

Can I also add that when it comes to moving day something always goes notoriously wrong. She had scheduled this date to move a month and a half ago. Low and behold, she went to pick up the truck and was told it was broken down. This led to her "convincing" them to rent her another truck and having to drive and pick the new one up.  They loaded up the truck.  Some things were in the back of my car as they would not fit into the truck. We then had to drive to the shipping company and move it all into a cube.  May I say a cube that was much smaller than the truck. As we began to unload the truck it decided to snow and did it come down. We tried in vain not to let the boxes get too wet.  The day ended with Katie sacrificing her end and coffee table, TV and microwave. 

Trying to shut the door on the cube turned into an even bigger dilemma. After 45 minutes of pushing, pulling and near cursing the door would not shut.  They took a look and decided to call a mechanic. Another 45 minutes until he came. It took him and two other men with crowbars, hammers and muscle to get the thing closed. Now my only worry is when they open it. I can only imagine a jack in the box springing open and things flying all over the place!!!

I guess overall, it was just another move in the life of Katie, experiencing the unexpected and greeting it with laughter.

Post wedding thoughts

I remember that as the wedding plans began to take place I was a bit dismayed that it was to be sweet and simple. I guess As the kids grew I had imagined the big wedding, all the pre wedding occasions such as bridal showers, rehearsal dinner, etc.  I had thought there would be a big celebration with dancing, boquet throwing and all else that goes with the territory. I had to take myself in hand and realize that this was my childs wedding and not mine. As plans began to form and decisions were being made I made an effort to be helpful and not make too many suggestions as that was an easy road to go down. I think I did fairly well, I guess we can ask Amy how I did. She made me feel such a part of the wedding and included me in as much as the planning as possible. She has a big heart and much sensitivity.

Looking back, I think she did it the right way. The day represented Craig and her as a couple. It was elegant yet fun.  Those who attended got a glimpse of the love they share.  It was a wonderful evening full of good food, conversation and celebration. 

Wedding Day

Well, the day we had been waiting for had finally come.  In case you didn't know I Will go back in time to when the wedding was to be in Jamaica. This was Plan Number One. Everyone was to go to the Blue Mountain region in Jamaica for the wedding . This was until most people backed out at the last minute and caused the happy couple to become unhappy, losing their ten thousand dollar deposit. ( now I justify the title unsolicited rantings!)  This led to a super nice vacation for them and onto Plan Number Two. After perusing the Knot and every bridal magazine available, we then went on the hunt to find the "perfect place" in the Delaware Valley to hold a wedding. We found a winery, historic locations and trendy spots, but anything with the word" wedding "or "bridal" attached to it held escalated price tags that left our jaws hanging open. Thus Plan Number Three was hatched. This time the Turks and Caicos was the chosen spot. This settled well with me, I love to travel and have never been to the Caribbean. A wedding and vacation all in one. This dream was crushed and then began the quest for Miami and Plan Number Four. I am not quite sure why this idea never evolved further than research, so I will leave that question to the past. 

At this point I must state that the happy couple just wanted to get married. They needed not the drama of a big affair, they just wanted to get married. As the possibility of a Philadelphia wedding evolved, they kept  secret  the plans until all was final and sent out the invitations. It was official! 

Now I get to tell you about my day of the wedding. I was in charge of picking up the cake and set off at 9 am. They brought the cake out and gave me a peek at it. Much to my horror, it was not what I had ordered. at this point, I began to cry. I did feel sorry for the teenage girl waiting on me. What do you say to the M.O.B. when she starts crying and you are only 16! She promptly fled the area and sent the baker out. His idea of customer relations was to argue with me. I guess he thought he could convince me that the cake before me was what I wanted.  It was too late to change it so I put the cake in the car and cried on the way to the florist. Finally, I had to take myself to task and realize that it was just a cake and not a matter of life and death. So, onto the florist only to find that instead of sticking with my order of just plain white flowers, he thought spraying the leaves gold would be better. Only he missed the leaves and sprayed some of the flowers gold! At this point I just hoped that all the mistakes were under our belt and things could only get better.

With the car loaded we headed for the city. The wedding was being held on the 20th floor of the Raddisson Plaza-Warwick Hotel. We checked in and rushed off to get our hair done. Everyone was on the agenda but somehow I was overlooked. They worked me into the schedule and managed to do a fair job. Yet another jaw dropping experience when they said it would be $120.00 for an up-do. No shampoo. No cut. Just pinned up my unwashed hair. 

Next was the make-up appointment.  When I called to make the appointment They thought I was the bride and told me the cost would be $60.. I corrected them, I am the mother of the Bride, which brought the bill down to $45. I must say, the day was beginning to look up! A fifteen dollar discount because I came under the category of MOB. I think they have it backwards. Making a 50 year old look good is more work and time consuming than my 29 year old daughter. Then we were back to the hotel to grab a quick bite to eat. Up to the ceremony space to arrange flowers , pictures and candles. Then down to the restaurant to arrange flowers on the cake that was not the cake that I ordered.

Now it was time to get dressed and help my daughter dress for her wedding and act like all that went on that day never happened.  Her desire was to have a quiet intimate affair with close family and friends. This is what she had. 

She looked beautiful in her diamond white dress with its corset back and rhinestone enhanced sash. Her curly brown hair held back with the feather and rhinestone hairpiece I fashioned. Her feet encased in feather decorated heels and her bouquet of peonies surrounded with ostrich feathers, just as she wished. Surrounded by her dearest friends she was gifted with something old, new, borrowed and blue. she called her grand mom on the phone before we left for the ceremony.

She was escorted in by her brother and married by her best friend. The room was filled with dear family and friends. Candles glowed and music played softly on the grand piano at the rear of the room. There was a reading by friends.  Bride and groom shared  letters  to each other . Then the moment came when they were married. The goal reached and the celebration began. Each person will walk away with their own memory of that day. As I read what I wrote, which does seem like ranting at points, but I wish to allow you to know what I took away with me that day. The cake, the flowers, the hair, the make up and all else was just stuff. Not really important. The important things were she was surrounded by those who truly loved and cared for her. She was marrying the man who will share her life through good times and bad. Yes, she looked beautiful and things went without a hitch. But may she remember the look in his eyes as they promised to love each other.  Remember the love of family and friends who shared this most important day.  I didn't lose a daughter, I gained more family and friends. This is just a beginning of a new chapter in our lives.

January 23, 2009

Today I recieved an invitation to view a blog written by my neice, Alysa. She has inspired me to write my own. I titled it unsolicited rants, as I am not sure that anyone else will wish to read my rambling thoughts but I will give it a try.

I am 52 years old and have never kept a journal, which is one of those things that you wished you did as you look back. When your mind is young you believe you will remember everything but then reality strikes.  Well, there is no time like the present.  I will try to record something of what happens in my life and comment on what it means to me.

On January 17, three important events took place to three distinct members of my family. first, my neice Kimi turned twenty nine years old. When I think of her I see that ever present smile which creates in me a lightness of heart. I just attended her baby shower and still see the glow that had shown on her face.

Secondly, my other neice, Alysa, became engaged to Gabe. I think she deserved someone as creative and fun as she has always been.  May they always know happiness.

The third event was that of my daughter Amy and her wedding day. I think I will create a seperate article covering this important event. It was a day that was special and showcased the elegant person she is.