I haven't been blogging lately as my Mom has been very sick. She went to the hospital over a month ago with pneumonia/congestive heart failure. This was something new for her.  After a two week stay they sent her to rehab which lasted only 4 days and then she was back in the hospital again with CHF. Two more weeks and she seemed to be getting better, eating good. They sent her back to rehab and she took a turn for the worse. It seemed like night and day, the difference in her. She couldn't eat, she was nauseous and her breathing seemed worse. We could barely get her to eat anything and she just seemed to be wasting away. When I saw her yesterday she told me an angel was sitting there waiting for her.

 Tonight when I was there she told me she had the dry heaves all day. I went to ask the nurse to get something ordered for her nausea and when I got back to the room she was really bad. The medical assistant took her vitals. Her B.P. was 55/37, and her heart rate 43. We took her over to the ER which was a two minute walk through hallways. When we got there they began asking me so many questions and I had to make some decisions regarding what they would do for her. Thank God she had basically made some of those decisions earlier and I just had to let them know what she wanted. I called Dad to come.  Mom was able to shake her head yes and no so we could get her input on some of those things. They put her on a bipap which forces oxygen into your lungs as her oxygen levels were way low. They put her on a dopamine drip to keep her heart rate and BP up. I am glad I said yes to these things as this gave Dad a chance to get there.

The doctor came in and explained that the blood tests showed she was in CHF again and that she also had damage to her heart from the lack of oxygen and decreased blood pressure. She said they could give her more dopamine to keep her going. At this point Mom shook her head no. she was just tired of fighting and going through all that. Her heart had done eighty years of work and was tired. So we let them unhook the stuff and talked to her until her last breath. My faithful Dad, who stayed by her side each day as long as he could, held her hand and told her it was alright, she could close her eyes and take a rest, her would be with her again.

I assured her of how each one of the family loved her and how good she was to all of us. Her children and grandchildren loved her. I said her Mom was there to give her a hug and that someday I would be there with her too.

So, Dad, Ben and I held onto her as her heart beat for the last time and took her last breath. I think I am crying for myself now as I have lost my dear Mom. What will I do without her? She was always there. I guess I will just take one day at a time and find a way. I loved you with all my heart Mom and will never forget the sweet memories we had together....